Refocus

This life is sometimes so hard to get through. Sometimes we have good news, sometimes we have bad news. Some days go by too fast, other days seem to last forever. Plans sometimes work out perfectly, sometimes they couldn't go more wrong. Sometimes I feel so restless locked in my house, other times I would love to shut the whole world out. There are moments when I wish my kids would just be silent for 5 minutes so I can think, other moments I can't wait to hear McCoy say a simple, "Yes," or Paisley's golden laugh. Somedays I want to escape, to erase my worry, other days I wouldn't change one thing about my life. Even through all my silent prayers each day I find I never know how that day will turn out. No matter how much I plan, how much I schedule, how much I clean, I can never just stop my brain and with my brain being attached to my heart sometimes I can't get rid of the ache. Last night Brandon and I stayed up talking till about 11 pm. The way he thinks and the way I think are so different, and I am so thankful for that. It seems that when I am thinking of 50 billion things, he can just focus on one thing at a time. I was talking to him about some of these feelings I have been having and he simply told me, "Thats why we need to live each day like it is the best day so far." I have been focused on what ifs, on fears, on aches, on wishes, that I missed to enjoy and just be in the moments in the past few weeks. I taught a lesson last Sunday in Relief Society about the fall of Adam and Eve. They had what seemed to be a perfect state. A state of being worry free, of staying innocent and knowing no evil, no stress. The Garden of Eden was such a perfect, beautiful place. Even with all the perfectness, they chose mortal life. They CHOSE the harder life because not knowing evil, stress, worry, being perfect, they also knew nothing of happiness, of laughter, pure joy, children, and love. Not only did they choose this life, all of us did too. Maybe we knew what we were going to have to go through, maybe we didn't know all the details, maybe the details didn't matter to us because we all had faith and love for our Heavenly Father. Sometimes I need to step back and refocus. Eventhough there are hard, trying, difficult, crappy times, there can be so much happiness if we focus on that rather than the bad. If we lived each day like it was our last day, if we treated people like it was the last time we would see them, maybe we would say, "I love you," more often. Refocus.